Brady Helps

Maybe it's just a Wisconsin thing, but I see so many T-Shirts that read: "Feed me tacos and tell me I'm pretty."You don't need tacos.You don't need me to tell you that you're pretty.We don't need another person to permit us to live our lives.We don't need another person to tell us that we have value.We don't need another person to feed us.I know the quote is a joke. I think it's funny.I also think it says something about our culture.Stop looking for validation.Don't Eat Tacos.(figuratively speaking, if you love tacos I hope you eat copious amounts.)

Instructions describe a process, that if followed, will lead to a predictable outcome. Humans are not predictable. You and I are not predictable animals. Yes, if you understand what makes us tick, you can make some reasonable assumptions.But, we do not come with an instruction manual.All of the "How-Tos" do not make up for understanding the principles of why we do what we do.My goal is to provide you with principles gained from past failures and successes. If you apply these learnings to any situation involving people, you can create a positive change for yourself and another. The principles I am providing you are not an instruction manual.I am not trying to write a step-by-step guide for life. Instead, I am trying to provide a way to think about life and people.To truly learn, you must experiment, fail, grow, and succeed with each new situation. Humans are not predictable.Instructions not included.

You cannot be the answer if you cannot see the question.

My last boss once asked me: "David, what are you trying to solve?" I had no idea.

I was trying my best to advocate on behalf of a learning strategy that I, and my team, felt we needed. But, we didn't know the question to which we were trying to answer, we didn’t why we needed a new strategy. Consequently, I did not get what I attempted to achieve.  I failed to know the question. I only saw an answer.

You cannot be the answer if you cannot see the question.

See the question by:

• Empathy: Learn to see the world from the other's view.
• Consider: Understand the impacts of the other's needs not being met.
• Realize: Deeply feel the importance of the other's need.
• Assert: Verbalize and write out the problem that needs to be solved.
• Look: Look at what you wrote out. Internalize the message.
• Share: Let the other(s) know that you're aware of the problem, share what you understand, and
• Ask: Ask for validation. If you're off, seek to understand what you missed and then re-share.

If you go through these steps, you will see the others.   If you go through these steps, you will better understand the others. If you go through these steps, you will know the question. If you know the question, you have permission to be the answer.

Know the question.

"The distance between where you want to be, and where you are, closes with one small step." - David Brady (until someone says someone else said it.)Point AAt this moment:Your location.Your career.Your friends.Your family.Your personal life.Your home.Your liabilities.Your assets.Your team.Your art.Point BImagine yourself:Doing the most fulfilling activities.Doing all your are capable of doing.Making the difference, you hope to make.Building tribes.Excelling in your career and developing effective teams.Improving your financial independence and doing the work to get to that point.Doing something each day to come alive.It might feel like it's far in the distance. But it's not.  All you need to do is commit to taking one small, barely noticeable step, in that direction.Take the step. Become one step closer to becoming who you see yourself being.Take the step. Become on step closer to connecting others and bringing them into something bigger than themselves.Take the step. To come alive and put all of you into the world and make a difference.Take the step. To find your fulfillment.  The step looks different for everyone. There's no great "how-to" for discovering what to do. There are many books on the subject.  Trust your gut.Trust your instincts.Trust your intuition.Trust that there's ground beneath you.Trust your resolve.Trust your One Small Step.

"You don't get to completely decide when it's your time. You may have worked unwaveringly, honestly, all the while - consciously or unconsciously - positioning yourself, but you never really know if your "big" moment will come. Then, for the few, it's there." - Bruce SpringsteenIt's always your time.  It is always your time to be present with yourself.It is always your time to be present with the world around you.It is always your time to do something that matters. I moved to Florida six years ago taking a role recruiting musicians for a cruise line. In my first annual review, I received an overall score of 4 out of 5. I was livid. I wanted a 5, felt I deserved a 5, and then asked my leader what I needed to do to get a 5. I'll never forget this; my leader told me: "Nobody gets a 5, maybe the CEO gets a 5, it's rare and for special cases." The following year I received a 5! But,I wasn't happy.Because now that I had it, now what?!?  I could only go down from there.  How do I outperform my outperformance?I learned a more important lesson from receiving a 5.  Being on top doesn't account for much.  Yes, it might lead to a pay raise.  Yes, it might lead to a promotion.Yes, people may respect you more. But it doesn't account for much.  If I had to do it again, I would do the following:Show up every day and do something that mattered.Not have hope for a future "benefit" such as a high rating.I will hope that what I'm doing is helping someone that needs help.Believe that if I bring my efforts to bear and create the change I seek, I am thriving, and that's enough.I might not receive a promotion, a raise, a 5, or be the top 1% of employees. That's okay. I will have done something each day that mattered in a meaningful way. That will make all the difference.  It's my time now.Now, at this moment, I am fully myself.Now, at this moment, I am alive.I may not be in the Top 1% of people who do what I do. That's okay.I am showing up, Bringing all my effort to bear,For those that think what I think and want to help others.It's my time.It's also yours.What are you doing?

My professional career began as a musician in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I played for theater companies, recruited and hired musicians for gigs, worked weddings, and had a small role with the musician's union. The American Federation of Musicians' (affiliated with the AFL-CIO) Milwaukee chapter, the Milwaukee Musicians' Association, hired me as an office worker a few days a week. For an aspiring businessman, this was a great experience.

In my time working for a labor union, I learned to appreciate the work that goes into advocating the rights of workers. It's a business, a cause, and it takes effort. I learned the value of being a brother with someone that also believed what I believe - to help and advocate for those in need.

I participated in organizing memos, preparing for negotiations with management, handling membership inquiries, being a friendly face to those that called in with questions, and playing a small in a much bigger cause. At the time, I didn't think my contributions mattered all that much. It wasn't until years later, as a Manager for a leading cruise line, that I appreciated my previous experience.

As a Leader, it's easy to think about yourself as being "the top" or "important." I've heard stories of leaders being too busy ever to take calls from their teams. We see countless stories on social media of employees feeling like a number, like a face that is occasionally chatted up, or a resource to be moved. That's not supportive leadership. That's not treating someone the way we would treat ourselves. When I worked in labor, I had firsthand experiences of challenges employees experienced and how the best management teams took the time to listen and support.

To me, celebrating "Labor Day" is not honoring the historical work and effort of labor organizers and workers. To me, the celebration is for those that do something meaningful, that connect with customers/fans/guests, that side-by-side actively engage in something bigger than themselves.

I've always said, and with some criticism, that the teams I support were the most important people in the organization. They don't work for me; I support them. Happy Labor Day. That was a true story.

You shared your stories.You connected the tribe.You inspired us to act.Now show up.Every single day, show up. Every single day, do something that matters.Every single day, be a servant for others. Solve a problem, help, lead.I've struggled in the past. In previous roles, I had a hard time finding ways to do things that I felt mattered. It's not the fault of my leaders. They were fine. I just needed something different. I was different. I wasn't for them. For years, I struggled with life. I hated going to work. I hated the culture I was part of, and I hated who I was becoming on the inside. Since leaving, moving home, and writing this blog, I have found the person inside that I always dreamed I'd be. Someone that helps people solve their problems.Am I making money from this blog? Hell no.Do I want to be a social media influencer? I'm too old ;-)Am I trying to raise a crowd of Millenials and tell them to forget school? As much as I respect Gary Vee, no, that's not who I am. I don't make money from this blog. I am happy if others like me want to be part of the journey. But,I don't care about how many followers I have or my reach. I want to put something into the world that matters. Something that I feel makes me come alive. I wanted to show up for someone.Who?Myself. I have committed to myself to show up — every day, Come alive, and Do one thing that mattered. Where are you?

Hope is what makes us human.

Hope is the belief in a future possible.

Hope is what motivates us to create the change bigger than ourselves.

Hope is what helps us find other people like us.

Hope is your story.

Hope is our story.

Hope is the story of now realized.

Don't lose yourself.

Don't lose hope.

"The adjacent possible is a kind of shadow future, hovering on the edges of the present state of things, a map of all the ways in which the present can reinvent itself… [the adjacent possible] captures both the limits and the creative potential of change and innovation." — Steven Johnson (Smith, 2010)

I offer an adjusted term: future possible.   Isn't it all the same?   Yes and no.  

My thoughts center around our primal instincts. I believe that humans are simple animals with simple hopes - find safety and avoid threats.  

We find safety in the belief that through our actions we can create a change that benefits us and those like us. "If we go into the river and be still, maybe we can catch fish to eat."

A more modern example.

"My community leaders want to abandon the music program in favor of football investments (the threat). Many members of the city, like myself, love our music program (people like us). If I start a pledge drive (story of now) to save our music program so that people have a changed attitude about music's value in their kid's lives while supporting sports (the future possible, the change we want to see, and safety packaged together)." 

Through our belief that starting a pledge drive would save our music program, we created a call to action that will, hopefully, lead to a safe result for ourselves and our community. This belief is the future possible. 

As a Leader - You believe in a future possible for your tribe. You hope that our actions will create a result that leads to our safety. You know how to inspire us to create it.   

The belief you have, not yet realized, is our future possible.

The human-animal needs two things to survive:

• Find sources of safety; and,
• Avoid threats.

The human-animal is simple.  

All we need to do, to survive, is to find safety and avoid threats.  

How come we're not doing this?

Safety

You are safe when you're:

• Free to create.
• Able to express your point of view without fear of harm.
• Have the back of another in your tribe.
• Know that the others in your tribe have your back.
• Gladly allow yourself to follow.
• Others place themselves in your charge to lead.You have a "home."
• You have shelter from the physical, psychological, and spiritual elements.
• You love.
• Others love you.
• You are accepted as you are.
• You can be different, and different is okay.
• You bring all of your skills to bear and accomplish a task.
• You see the impact of your accomplishments.
• You made a change that mattered.
• You are you.

Threats

Threats are:

• Muzzled creativity.
• Forced compliance.
• People talk about you behind your back. They're not direct.
• No trust for anyone.
• Tyrannical bosses.
• Employees that don't believe in you.
• Rooms with walls. They're not home.
• You don't have shelter from physical, psychological, or emotional terrors.
• You don't love yourself or others.
• You feel others don't love you.
• No one accepts you.
• You can't be different. You are forced to be like everyone else.
• You are not leveraging your skills to accomplish a task.
• You don't see the impacts of your work.
• Your work doesn't matter.
• You are not you.

Our brains don't see the difference between a lion trying to kill you (physical threat) and a feeling of distrust for those around you. It considers both instances as threats. When it perceives these threats, it puts brain chemistry into action to support your survival - most notably, cortisol.  

You can find tons of articles relating to cortisol and its purpose on the Internet. Lots of people write and know about this hormone. What I want you to leave with is:

• Being human is simple.
• It's not complicated.
• We make it complicated.
• If you're in a threatening situation (see above) - get out. Quit.

Do what makes you come alive.   

Find others who think and speak like you.  

Those people are looking for someone like you.  

Lead them.  

They are safe.