I get asked, a lot, how I got good at reading people.
Here's the secret that only you know... I don't read people.
"But David, you seem to size people up pretty quick, you seem to know what motivates them, they respond to you... surely there must be a way?"
There's always a way, and don't call me Surely ;-).
I am effective at enabling people to be themselves around me - that's what everybody wants, right? To be themselves.
How do you enable someone to be themselves?
You show up as yourself.
You encourage others to be themselves - "be comfortable, all I want is a conversation, what are you hoping for?" Once they share, you respond, "I can do that for you."
You be curious. Seek to understand the person. Develop a sense of empathy for them - put yourself in their story.
You be judge free. The key to getting people to show themselves is not judging people for showing themselves ;-)
You repeat back what you learned - show the person that you saw them.
You build on their what you saw - perhaps there's a way that person can leverage their story to something better for them? (that's called seeing potential)
If reading people is a teachable skill, I don't want to learn it. Where I want to grow is improving my ability to see people exactly the way they want to be seen.
Don't spend time reading people.
Spend time getting to know and love them.
