Winning at what cost?
How far will you go and how much will you sacrifice to win?
How far will you go and how much will you sacrifice to be perceived as being right?
What are the stakes of not winning? Not making the sale? Not hitting the target?
What are the stakes of doing it all at the expense of yourself and your truth?
Managers, music directors, band leaders, teachers, parents, spouses, partners, friends, or humans at one time make the mistake of needing to be right - to win. The feeling of winning though is short lived - we eventually discover there's a cost.
Not long ago, I failed to learn from my mistakes as a leader. Because I felt I was right, I believed others should perceive me to be right too. I would do all I could to influence and manipulate someone's environment so that they would either give in, or lead me into a false sense of believing they agreed with me. The cost would be my credibility to lead - people lost truth.
I won, but only a battle, and at a significant cost to me.
I am sure you have been in similar battles. Trying to get your kids to do something that you believe to be right and when they don't, acting out to make your point. Vibing the musicians in your band because you need to stroke your own ego because you're not confident in yourself. When your employee corrects you for messing up and you explain away your behavior to avoid being in the wrong.
Winning needs a new definition. For me, winning is being invited back by those you seek to serve to play the game again tomorrow.
If that was your definition of winning, isn't it possible that you're already winning every day? And if you are, how might that change your perception of your life?