I took a ride on Galileo's ship and it’s sooooo much fun!
Scenario:
My sister works with a difficult and arguably abusive customer. When the abuse went too far Maria said, “okay, someone else can take this customer.” While speaking with my sister she spoke about how proud she was that she “finally” stood up for herself.
(Enter stage left, Galileo’s Ship)
Me: How did the conversations go leading up to that point?
Maria: Well, it’s been awful. I wasn’t winning. I just kept being empathetic with the customer and re-focusing their frustration on the thing that was frustrating them and that would call them down.
Me: Well it looks like you’ve been winning this whole time… did you see how I am seeing that?
Maria: What are you talking about?
Me: It looks like you have been successfully re-focusing anger from you to the actual cause of frustration, de-escalating conversations, and having momentary wins with your customer. Is that true?
Maria: Yes, but…
Me: Then it’s fair to say you have had success leading up to the point where you are now?
Maria: Yes, I suppose…
Me: And you say that the customer was ultra-abusive to you recently and your response responded was to draw a bright line in the sand and advocation for yourself, like you said. That’s true?
Maria: Yes. Okay… So I have had lots of little wins up to this point!
(Galileo’s ship exists Stage Right)
Conclusion
Maria needed an outside perspective to help her create a fuller picture of the story she was telling herself.
Now she tells herself a story of a woman that’s been proportionately responding (and winnIng) customer conversations while advocating for herself.
I am proud that she’s winning conversations, but I am more proud that she sees more that she’s winning at being herself.