Three delusions

Steven Sample in The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership writes:

The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that they are a good driver, (2) that they have a good sense of humor, and (3) that they are a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening. But contrarian leaders know it is better to listen first and talk later. And when they listen, they do so artfully.

What’s artful listening? We go to piano accompanists for the answer.

Here’s how I, and other accompanists, listen:

  • Pay attention to how the soloist breathes.

  • Develop a deep understanding of the subject/topic/repertoire.

  • Collaborate with the soloists to understand their vision and offer ideas.

  • Reflect back our understanding of what will be performed and how.

  • Offer thoughts to help the soloist be there best.

  • Receive ideas to help do our job as accompanist better.

Listening is so much more than hearing words and interpreting them.

Listening is empathy in action.

Embrace constraints.

Team building.