I am playing a funeral today.
I notice people investing lots of time and energy into making the service perfect. Attempts to keep things “cool” are obvious.
I hear people give moving speeches about the deceased’s life and how they interacted with others.
I see people showing up in black and dark colors — in grief.
I think: Will the deceased ever know this happened?
I wonder: Who are funerals for?
I acknowledge that different groups of people have different views on death and rituals relating to death. It is not my intention to disparage those views. Rather, I intend to question my own views.
I hypothesize: Perhaps funerals are not to celebrate the memory of the person who left. Perhaps funerals are ways to create a memory of what it was like to accept and move forward.
It could be said, “well funerals are for honoring the dead?” For my own belief system, I wonder if the best way to honor the dead is to honor the living while they are with you. For every moment you’re in the company of someone else, make that moment count. Let that person, or those people, know how much that moment meant to you.
It could be said, “funerals are a way to grieve.” I see that. I then wonder, does the flower and the stressed planning improve the effectiveness of my grieving process?
Certainly saying “goodbye” to someone is tough. It’s sad to lose someone. While I hold that belief, I hold a parallel belief that every time I say goodbye to someone, I am saying “goodbye.”
Until we meet again.