With thanks to James Clear’s newsletter. From The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein.
Frodo: "I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
My own theory of how meaning is derived from living is (kind of simple).
You decide to do something
You do the thing
You observe an outcome
You receive feedback from nature/world/people about your thing
You learn something about yourself and life.
You make an update and try again.
I observe that the story people tell themselves about themselves occurs around step 4 and 5. However, I also observe that step 4 or 5 would only be reached because step 1 happened — a decision. My (unscientific and highly personal) hypothesis is: life’s meaning is derived from the meaning of our decisions.
To test my hypothesis I propose you think about major decisions you’ve made. What happened just before you decided to take action? How did you feel? What did you consider? What outcomes did you predict? What was the actual outcome? And what would you do differently?
After asking the aforementioned questions, write down your answers in a notebook or in a doc. Catalogue your decisions. Review them often and determine if you’re getting better at making them, and if you are, are your outcomes getting better.
My hunch — the more you see your life through the decisions you made, the more you can be honest with yourself, the more you will be able to propel yourself forward, the more life will mean something to you.
You have to decide what to do with the time you have.