Is respect in the eye of the beholder?

Someone I enjoy speaking with told me that he doesn’t need to be liked or to like others, he just cares about respect. Then I wondered if the concept of respect for this person is different than the concept for others.

In the US, a person may address their spouse/partner’s parents by their first name if the family allows it. In some parts of the US, that’s not possible. Some people address strangers as “sir” or “ma’am” as a sign of respect; others don’t. What’s respect?

In the Philippines, some families greet their elders with a special gesture called “mano”. Some families don’t do that. What’s respect?

My unscientific conclusion is that “respect is a cultural device.” Why do we have that cultural device?

Perhaps we have it for creating cooperation? Maybe it’s for micro-social cohesion?

Whatever it’s for; it’s certainly not universal… and like beauty, it’s value may be in the eye of the beholder.