I spoke with a team member today about feedback.

The team member asked me why I don’t give more feedback. Shocked.

What’s feedback? It’s a boomerang. It’s the communication someone gives you when they experience your work.

Why do leader screw up feedback? Because there’s a perception that feedback must be said/delivered a certain way. Some leaders have a perception that we must preserve the self-esteem and confidence of our team and couch our perceptions in ways that helps people feel safe. I believe something else.

When I improvise jazz, the musicians supporting me and I engage in a dialogue — a dance. I express a musical idea and other musicians pick up on it or don’t. In the moment, we are rapidly building upon and destroying ideas. We are engaged in each other’s work. We are focused on making our work better together. That’s feedback too.

My belief towards feedback is that feedback is a form of engagement. It’s a dance. It’s you sharing your work with me and me being curious, wondering, asking about, reinforcing, and expressing skepticism about the work. It’s you sharing your thoughts back with me. It’s us building something better together.

It’s me saying, “I’m jazzed to get into this… what should we look at first? I’m super curious about this… how are you thinking we do … with it?”

It’s not me asking, “may I give you some feedback?”

Leaders: something to think about. How do you break out of the “leadership best practice” mode and be more human with your team?