One of the most influential leaders in my life is named John.

John possesses this way to cut through the fluff, get straight to the point, but in the most respectful way. I love that about John. Not everyone is like John.

I've known people that act one way to your face, but then speak about you behind your back. We all know people like that, I'm sure. Sometimes, this type of person prefers to maintain a good relationship with you to your face but will complain about little things you do behind your back. They're not direct with their feedback. They prefer to keep their identity anonymous when feedback is delivered.

I know leaders that will offer feedback from anonymous sources without providing context or suggestions for improvement. "Someone feels you're helping in a non-helpful way." How does one respond? My response: "How can I improve my usefulness and helpfulness in a way that better speaks to that individual?" How my leaders have replied: "I'm not sure, maybe look out for it?" Think about how this leaves me feeling, my choices to continue doing what I'm doing, self-doubt every action to avoid irritation or stop doing anything.

I prefer direct feedback, even from peers, delivered respectfully. If it can help me grow, please share. I'm not perfect, and I need feedback for my development. When allowing yourself to be vulnerable for the sake of helping me, I know you care. When I know you care, I begin to trust you. The feeling of being in trust with another is a key to creating engaged workplaces that do great things.

If you care deeply about people, be respectfully direct.

Strengthen your bonds, trust, and relationships by caring personally and showing someone how they can develop. If you receive negative responses, it's safe to say you've learned that a new approach is best. Learning is growing, growing is life.