Personal Struggle
I have struggled in the past with coming across as fake. I'm not a fake individual. More often than not, I struggle dulling down my true feelings for a situation.
I've always involved myself with many interests. Instead of having a deep group of friends, I knew people from many different groups and held loose friendships. You couldn't call me a social butterfly, but you could say that I was friendly to anyone that I took the time to know. In past reflections, I've felt that I might have been more effective had I just had a small group of friends. I do have a microscopic group of close friends; I love them. I also enjoy maintaining a group of loose friendships.
Tribes
I enjoy listening to an NPR Podcast called "Hidden Brain." Shankar Vedantum, the host, in a recent episode, explored how humans act when they realize their mortality. Interestingly, when we recognize death, we cling closer to our core beliefs and values. Also interestingly, we become aware of those that do not share our core beliefs.
"When we encounter people that are different, we tend to belittle them, we tend to try and convince or coerce them to dispose of their ideas, or we just kill them." - Sheldon Solomon, summarizing the work of Ernest Becker.
I don't mean to suggest that we walk around thinking about our death and seeking to kill those that are not like us. Instead, I believe encountering people different from ourselves leads us to distrust. Our primitive mind sees those people as being imposters resembling an idea, but not honestly like us. I may be one of those individuals; we are honest.
Learnings
There are people in this world that go around connecting with all kinds of people. They love people. They love to help people. These people are often sales professionals, recruiters, leaders, politicians, coordinators, and organizers. In "The Tipping Point," author Malcolm Gladwell refers to these people as "connectors."
Connectors have a unique ability to speak to and connect with anyone. They may have a Rolodex of loose relationships. They seek to serve people by connecting them with others that can address a need. Connectors don't fit into any one tribe, besides that of other Connectors. They loosely move between many tribes, building relationships, connecting information and resources, and seeking to be of service.
Tribes benefit from Connectors because Connectors seek to help people by connecting them with valuable resources, other people. Connectors create global unity.
I'm a Connector
I'm a genuine individual. I represent myself in a way I believe aligns with my core values. I love people, and I love meeting and learning about all kinds of people. To those skeptics out there, I know that seems fake. It also is genuine. I believe it has made me effective at what I do. I'm a connector. I love helping people solve their problems by connecting them with valuable resources, other people.
You may have your way of living that is genuinely you. Others may find you disagreeable or to be dishonest in how you represent yourself. Be genuine, show up, share your story, and eventually people will see you.
If you need to be something different for people to accept you, stop. Be yourself. You are enough. You do not need to alter yourself to find acceptance. If you feel you do, then the people you are seeking to connect with might not be your tribe. Find your tribe.
Don't Be Fake.
