No one likes to lose - humans are fiercely competitive. We're wired that way - survival of the fittest.
We want to do our best work, be recognized for our efforts, feel that people care about us, receive rewards for our efforts - we want to win. There's nothing wrong with wanting to win. However, it's not helpful to avoid acknowledging that the “drive to achieve” exists.
Below are examples of statements I've heard from musicians describing their ideas of success.
"I want to be the best session bassist in the world."
"I want to be the first-call player for film scores."
"I want to be the best vocalist with the cruise line."
"I am the best soloist with the cruise line."
"How do I get to be the best DJ?"
No one ever says,
"How do I become the best finder-of-mistakes-in-good-outcomes?" **
"How do I become a better learner?" **
"How do I become the best at catching learning opportunities without blaming myself or others?" **
"How can I, in spite of my wins, always find a way to do things better?" **
Acknowledge and leverage your primal desire to win and discover how to become the best learner possible. Focus on expanding your mind so that every experience - win or lose - is a learning occasion.
** These questions were inspired by Annie Duke from her book, Thinking in Bets.
