What if we re-thought interviews? What if instead of asking questions like, “tell me about a time that you didn’t tell a customer what they needed to hear and instead told the customer something to make them feel good,” we do this…Give an idea. “Here’s the big idea I have… the question I’m trying to solve… the big hairy and outrageously audacious goal…”Be like Prince: “Now, what are you going to come up with? What can you bring? What’s your thing in this?” Stop and listen. Be curious.That map might work not only for job interviews but for any type of interview: getting others to be part of your project, helping to create enrollment from people who give you money, or trying to get people (kids even) to do things for you. Heck, I might use it with my nephew! Food for thought.Inspired by yesterday’s post.
You probably haven’t heard of Wendy Melvoin, but you have likely heard her.
In an interview with Vertex Effects, Wendy recalls a story of recording and adding her two cents to “Purple Rain.” The part of the interview that caught my ear was when she described Prince asking, “What are you all going to come with? What can you do? What’s your thing on this?”
Prince is life. (hehe…)
Each moment of each day life is asking you, “What are you going to come with? What can you do? What’s your thing in this moment?”
When you’re surrounded by an overwhelming mess, don’t try to solve for the mess.Just pick up one piece, then another, and then another.
I find that others, and myself, get most frustrated when the person we end up being is different than the person we expect ourselves to be. Are you like us?Instead of getting frustrated, start reconciling the difference. Who do you expect yourself to be at your best and worst? What type of leader do you expect yourself to be?How does an artist like you deal with defeat?How does a friend like you value others in your life? Create that picture in your mind. Then, when things go off the rails - because they will, we’re human - reconcile the difference. Where is the gap between where I was and where I expected myself to be? Then act. Take accountability, improve what you can do, and do it again.That gap between where we expect ourselves to be and where we are is freedom. Freedom to reflect, decide, and effectively act. On the flip side, it’s also the freedom to fail and act recklessly.
After three conversations in the last 72 hours with wildly different people, I am convinced more than ever that when people are seeking certainty they are actually seeking clarity. To help others realize that I used this example:Imagine you’re in a room that’s pitch black.“Would you rather:Take a step and know that there was ground to step on? Or,Be able to shine on a light on the ground in front of you to see what’s there?”Option 1 was selected more than 2 - no surprises. I then asked:“If you don’t know for certain, then how can you step?”Most people answered, “I couldn’t. I would be stuck.”“What if you shined a light? Would you still be stuck?”
They matter - and when you get used to them they become like an addiction. And when you stop them suddenly, like an addiction, you go through withdrawal. Just a proof that the most important thing we can do, when we commit, is show up - consistently.As I think about it… perhaps “routine” is not the right word. A routine is only the end product of the bigger thing we need to do - commit. Perhaps what we crave is people in our lives who commit - commit to showing up, to serve, to do the thing we need them to do, to make the change only they can make. When others say to you, “you need to commit to a routine,” what they’re actually saying is, “why are you so afraid of showing up?”
Creating clarity is like turning on a flashlight in a dark room - it illuminates what’s in front of you.Desiring certainty is like wanting to walk blindfolded in a kid’s toy room and not trip over anything. Certainty is a fallacy - it’s a fallacy that doesn’t help you solve problems - blind hope.Clarity creates the space to solve problems, make decisions, and act. It’s that hopeful feeling you get in your gut when you say, “maybe this might work.”Effective leaders create and seek clarity and downplay the need for certainty.HT to Admired Leadership for today’s inspiration and the conversations it enabled me to have with others.
Try something out and see how it goes. Let others know what you’re trying to do, show your work, and let them know when you fail. The ones you showed your work to may have ideas to help you test better in the future.It’s a good practice to let others know when you have failed - it makes you comfortable with failure.A peace can be found in closing the books. It’s okay if the test fails. It’s just a test.Your life is a series of failures. And you likely have, as Churchill stated, jumped from “one failure to the next with no less of enthusiasm.”Perhaps that’s why I’m so happy :)
Life lesson learned in the last 72 hours. Take a beat. Remind yourself that you’re going to be fine. The only thing you own, that’s secure, that’s yours, that nobody can take from you is the present. You get to choose what happens in the present.Choice is agency.Agency is freedom to be you.Being you is what you’re here for.Take a beat.
Bias is required for survival. It also gets in the way. If you’re interviewing someone for a job and you start to hear that voice in your head saying “they’ve only been at their current job for a 6 months, they’re not happy,” that’s bias. It’s not productive bias for that matter.Instead of deciding to write the person off as a job jumper, ask, “Why the move now?” Leverage your bias to be more curious, to understand more.Wash, rinse, and repeat that concept the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or says something that triggers an immediate reaction. Your bias is your invitation towards curiosity and possibility.Curiosity is your invitation towards connection and action.Action is the way that you make change happen.