I may have a deeply unhealthy affection for Dame Maggie Smith, and I may enjoy the Victorian’ness of the setting… but what I love most is a great story.

A great story does wonders: evoking emotions, motivating change, and driving action.

We are all telling ourselves stories about ourselves - now, at this very moment.

The story you are telling yourself is just as beautiful, as complicated, and as funny as the one I am telling myself.

… is what I told myself Saturday.Friday consisted of work, helping my mom, a gig, and a long drive home. Saturday consisted of errands, a gig, and a long drive home. I could complain about how tired I am… but I won’t.I won’t complain because I signed up for it - I decided. As a result of my decisions, I didn’t have energy to write yesterday and many of the other things I do to keep myself healthy. Was that a product of the day? No. It was a product of a decision. Holding ourselves accountable is not meant to be an awful and painful experience of self-loathing and blame; I see it as a retrospective of sorts. A chance to reflect on a decision and wonder: what worked and what didn’t, and how I might do better next time.Hopefully, I’ll have several hundred more weekends in my lifetime yet to live. I have several hundred (hopefully more) to make better decisions and get progressively better each time.

Criticism.Perhaps you are the type of person that avoids it like the plague? Perhaps you welcome it in abundance?When I have worked with people who dislike receiving criticism, often times they have felt that the criticism was a personal attack on them.What if we choose to saw criticism differently? How might we do that?Perhaps a simple reminder: Start with the assumption that the person critiquing us is our biggest fan and wants us to succeed.Great fans applaud your work, they also are quick to tell you when your work missed the mark. They do that because your success is personal to them.Who are these fans?Your family;Your boss;Your friend;The people who show up to your gig time after time;The people who respond to your posts;Your customers;Your employees;The passerby who cares.Your fans can come from anywhere - don’t discount them.Reversal - watch out for the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Some people are your fans because it’s convenient to be your fan; they will also stop when it’s convenient to stop. Their criticism matters little. If ever you’re in doubt, look at their behaviors (they always speak louder than words) and try to understand the beneficiary of their actions - likely, it’s themselves.Your fans are selfless and they love you.Embrace them.

Have you also noticed the amount of articles and books that have been written about decision-making?I find it large. But, that could also be the Google algorithm showing me more of that type of content.What if decision making wasn’t really that hard? What if it was simple?Oversimplified concept of decision-making:What are you trying to do?Does what you are trying to create a harm or hardship for someone else? Is that what you want? If Yes, decide how you will mitigate that harm and then proceed to next section. If No, go to the next section.Does what you are trying to do create a benefit for someone else? Is that what you want? If Yes, go to next section. If No, find a way to make what you are trying to do more generous if you can. If you can’t, go to next section.How will you live with the responsibility you will create for yourself? You’re on the hook for following through - how will you hold yourself accountable? How will others hold you accountable? Is that what you want? Once you have figured that out, go to the last section.How will you know to quit? How will you know it’s not working? How will you let others know? Will you quit?That two last sections are the hardest because they require you to think about accountability and sunk-cost; two things people struggle with most. Do we struggle because we don’t like the idea of having to do what we say we’re going to do? Or do we struggle because we’re afraid?

A cellist at a church gig told me, “time stops for no one, it knows only one path - forward." It’s true - in music, time only knows one direction - forward. And time, once the song starts, doesn’t brake for anybody. The song, and show, must go on. Singers, much to the chagrin of accompanists, like to do what is called “back phrasing” - they like to sing in a way that messes with time. If you listen to jazz or R&B - pick a singer from those genres and they’re probably doing it. Great singers know they do back phrase, they’re unapologetic about it, and they are direct in telling their back up bands - “hey, I back phrase this, don’t get me shit about it, if you want to change it, you sing the song.” I respect that.Why back phrasing? Why singers? Because we all back phrase. I (swallowing all of my pride) back phrase. I, like you, have moments where I get behind, or where I might want to get behind a bit. It’s okay! We all do it. We must be like great singers though. We must communicate to others, “hey, my route might be a bit off.. but it’s okay, I got this.”The people that accompany you in life will appreciate you for it. As Cellist Mike says, “forward.”

When you are leading and responsible for the work of others, your approach matters.Some leaders like to command and control - and that can work.I prefer to lead like musician… creatively.Instead of asking, “may I offer feedback?” or asking “well, what do you think you should do?“I like to ask questions like:Why did this idea or effort fail? Why do you think it worked?What if we could take what we’ve learned from this failure/win and try a revised approach? How might we do that? What it wold it mean for us and our customer to get this right?In this failure, what went right? How might we capitalize on what we know works?Are we failing differently each time? Or are being insane?And here’s the thing, you can ask these questions of yourself, too. Great leaders not only are effective at leading others, they effectively self-lead themselves.

Sometimes I make yogurt to remind myself that I can.It feels good to know that I have acquired knowledge of how to turn a simple ingredient into a new product that I can use. Find an activity that reminds you that you can make things - food, yogurt, bread, wood working, a garden, a blog entry, or a friend. Recipe for yogurt:Heat milk (I use raw milk) to 90C stirring often;Take milk off the heat and let it cool to 35-40C;(While milk is cooling) Set aside 1 cup of kefir for every 2 gallons of milk.Once milk has cooled, mix the kefir with the milk and give it a good stir. Put that container (I use a big stock pot), in the oven with the light on and leave it there overnight (no heat). The next morning, enjoy yogurt. If you want it firmer, put it to the refrigerator. Note: The longer you let the yogurt incubate the more sour your yogurt will become. Kefir yogurt almost never goes bad!

“A very large part of the rancor of political and social strife springs from the fact that different classes or sections are so cut off from each other that neither appreciates the other’s passions, prejudices, and, indeed, point of view.” - Theodore RooseveltWhen stresses on the community are real, it’s easy to blame others and get angry at “the enemy.“Anger is easy; empathy is hard.We need love - and love in the form of empathy.What if we remember that…What directly hurts one indirectly hurts all;We’ve been through this before - past is prologue - and it will happen again;On the whole, people are really trying to do their best - a very small group of people sets out to be evil;Reality is perception - it’s how we choose to see things;The present is all we have - and it’s what we stand to lose?Dr. Martin Luther King offers a parting thought:“Let us all hope that the dark clouds of [prejudice] will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and [community] will shine over [us] with all their scintillating beauty.” - Dr. Martin Luther King(Adapted from Dr. King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail to reflect a broader hope and to be more inclusive. You can read the full letter here.)

I’m re-reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s “Leadership in Turbulent Times,” a book that studies the leadership of Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Lyndon B. Johnson.I realized that all 4 of these leaders had these 9 things in common.Childlike wonder and curiosity about life, people, and their stories.Connection with people they seek to serve.Thirst for knowledge of the past - poems, literature, history, fables.Doubt - crippling self-doubt and anxiety in their own ability and pursuits.Courage to decide and act - even if it was not in accordance with the norm.Entertainer - could regale audiences with stories.Pride - often had too much of it and needed an event to back it down.Vision - knew where they wanted to go.Parents - their parents left a mark of what to do and what not to do.Which ones most resonate with you?

If you’re going to start something, it requires a few things:A mission, cause, or belief that’s compelling.A runway to start - it can be small, but you need to have the space.A decision to do it.A follow through.That’s it.If it’s that easy, why is it so hard?