I sometimes find this time of the year tough. More difficult to keep up with important habits, more difficult to keep up with my studies, and more difficult to keep up with my writing. It’s not that I don’t have energy. I have plenty. I find it difficult to focus my energy towards important work. So where does my energy go? My mind wants to focus my thoughts towards doing and observing things. As if it was pulling my head out of my books and into the world. As if my mind was saying, “what good is that knowledge if you don’t use it.” Fair point, brain. Fair point.

I watch politicians use rhetorical devices to make points. I observe them dodge questions. I watch them pivot answers to their points of view. There are PR people making a lot of money guiding their clients to avoid answering questions. I wonder who these PR people believe is persuaded by these devices?I am coming to the conclusion that the best form of persuasion is the persuasion you do to yourself. It’s one thing to talk at you. It’s quite another to ask you a provocative yet judgment-free question that causes you to think — perhaps doubt. Questions like that only work if you exercise the skill of listening. The art is not in the question. The art is in the story the question causes the answerer to tell themselves about themselves. Perhaps being persuasive is about getting people to tell themselves a better story.No amount of talking at you makes that happen.

I’ve used Squarespace’s mobile app to write the last few blog entries. It appears that they didn’t publish when I scheduled them to publish. Apologies if you received several entries on one day. Sometimes that happens. Your plans don’t always pan out the way you hoped. I heard a scientist say that he would be delighted to be proven wrong; you learn something new when someone proves you wrong. I suppose I’m delighted that Squarespace may have error’d me; I’ve learned something new… stick to the web app.

A ritual I’m going to try and maintain: getting everything out of my head at the beginning and the end of the day. A blank page, a planner, or a piece of paper is all you need.Starting and ending the day with a clear mind feels good.

I thought today about all the ways our nerves get the best of us.Questions we don’t ask.Risks we don’t take.Products we don’t ship.Music we don’t make.Thoughts we don’t think.Words we don’t write.I suppose the list goes on. New concept? Hardly. But it makes me think: how powerful the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves must be. Claim responsibility for your story.

I signed off to a team member saying, “I enjoyed our work today.”It felt more honest than, “it was good to see you” or “enjoy your day” or even “nice work today.”After saying it, I felt different. Better. Like we both just did a thing that made a difference and mattered. We did it together. It was our experience.I feel that way when I play music. Musicians always say, “good playing with you.” I wonder why non-music work would be any different.

People move so fast to find and produce answers to unknown questions. Our world moves fast, people move fast, answers come quickly… nobody stops to think of the question. We tell ourselves we’ll stop and reflect later, but now it’s time to produce. That “later” never comes. When it does come, it usually comes with a healthy dose of “blame” and “why didn’t we think about this, that, and the other thing.”I wrote the below a few years ago. I believe it’s worth pausing and giving it a read:###You cannot be the answer if you cannot see the question.My last boss once asked me: “David, what are you trying to solve?“I had no idea.I was trying my best to advocate on behalf of a learning strategy that I, and my team, felt we needed. But, we didn’t know the question to which we were trying to answer, we didn’t why we needed a new strategy. Consequently, I did not get what I attempted to achieve.  I failed to know the question. I only saw an answer. You cannot be the answer if you cannot see the question.See the question by:Empathy: Learn to see the world from the other’s view.Consider: Understand the impacts of the other’s needs not being met.Realize: Deeply feel the importance of the other’s need.Assert: Verbalize and write out the problem that needs to be solved.Look: Look at what you wrote out. Internalize the message.Share: Let the other(s) know that you’re aware of the problem, share what you understand, andAsk: Ask for validation. If you’re off, seek to understand what you missed and then re-share.If you go through these steps, you will see the others.  If you go through these steps, you will better understand the others.If you go through these steps, you will know the question.If you know the question, you have permission to be the answer.###

I believe I have a happy life.I don’t own much - lots of books, piano, keyboard, a mattress, a couch, things to cook with, and only the food I need. I appropriately struggle with myself and other humans. I’m not perfect, I deal with people who aren’t perfect, and I never stop finding occasions to learn from others and myself.For the balance of the year, I’ve maintained a belief that “life is absurd… so why take it too seriously.” I laugh off things a bit easier. I am thankful for the life I have. For all the goods and the bads, it’s mine… for the time that I have it.

I wonder if managers/leaders actually develop their teams. I don’t know if I believe that.I’m still learning, but my working idea is that great leaders don’t develop people. Instead, they make opportunity for people to stretch themselves, fail without serious consequence, and win. Great leaders are like great party hosts. They make it possibility possible.

My interest in things changes with my energy. At one point I could be interested ABC, and then my energy changes and now I’m thinking of 123. The challenge, for me, is not the changing interests. The challenge is keeping my interest for those interests in check — not to let myself get too excited. Skepticism, cynicism, and a dose of realism are helping me keep myself in check.For now, I think I’m okay with that.