I don’t get the warm fuzzies from being together with my family. That’s not a sensation or sentiment that I register. Instead, I believe I receive an adjacent sentiment — not the same, but perhaps in the same genre. A feel good feeling from making sure my siblings have what they need, from knowing I spent a few moments with my parents, or other activities that fall in the category of “being present for others.” Some might call it paternal, others might say that’s the role of the eldest… some call it “papa bear” instincts. Who knows. I don’t have a kid, so hard to know if that’s my “inner dad.” What I do know, it’s a form of servant leadership I very much find fulfillment engaging with every now and then. Sending a shout out to my family. Happy they’re ok.

I am thinking about signs and signals. I came across a sign in someone’s yard that read “science is real.” And, I am cautiously confident that the sign owner is signalling their public health policy positions. This post is not about that person or their views. Instead, it’s about the paradox of science. I am fascinated by UAP (formerly known as UFOs) phenomenon and other space-related topics. My fascination led me to learn more about science and scientific thinking. With reasonably certainty, I believe that science deals with real things but the assertion that those real things are what they appear to be is and must be treated with skepticism — scientific theories are falsifiable. Oversimplified. Let’s say I have a theory —y. For it to be a scientific theory, I must be able to test if x could make theory y not true. If my attempts to disprove myself fail, my theory y strengthens. We approach the world of theory y becomes fact if an overwhelming amount of evidence amasses that theory y is true. And even then, long held scientific beliefs have gotten over turned through new discoveries. In a sense, science is not real, it’s skeptically evolving. I believe that’s a testable theory.To question the notion that “science is real”, for some, is to signal that I do not believe in science or perhaps the sign-owner’s worldview of science. I discovered that firsthand. And what’s odd to me is that the act of questioning the claim is inherently scientific. It is to hold a view that can’t be tested that is considered, by many, pseudoscience. Richard Feynman, a famous physicist, calls this “Cargo Cult Science”.What if the sign, “science is real”, is not about the method of scientific inquiry but about effect of accumulated scientific knowledge? Maybe the owner asserts a belief that: of what we have learned now, we believe that which we have learned to be real. That makes sense; however, we must accept that which we know now is subject to change and cross-examination — it’s typically helpful to hold a gradient of speculation towards claims of any kind. My (highly un-original) theory, open to examination, is that the sign signals membership to a group. It’s an indicator of “this is how we are”. In fact, the text at the top of the sign reads: “in this house, we believe…”. And that signal helps others place that household in a type of mental social stratification — are they “in” my group or “out”? And, unfortunately for me, I am rarely “in” with most groups. I am usually “out.” Not for my views on anything, but mostly for not being willing to accept group (family, social, you name it) beliefs or norms out right. To hold a belief that science is real but not be open to an examination of that belief seems ironically anti-scientific. The experience of the yard sign reminds me of other symbols people use to signal their group beliefs — like a crucifix, tight jeans, or “ARMY”. All of that said, I’m open to my beliefs being challenged. I welcome it. I care so much more about finding some kind of objective truth about us and our nature than fooling myself and others. “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After you’ve not fooled yourself, it’s easy not to fool others….” — Richard Feynman with an edit by me.

Kevin Kelly, an author and founder of Wired magazine, wrote out 50 years of travel tips here. I agree with many. Examples:If you hire a driver, or use a taxi, offer to pay the driver to take you to visit their mother. They will ordinarily jump at the chance. They fulfill their filial duty and you will get easy entry into a local’s home, and a very high chance to taste some home cooking. Mother, driver, and you leave happy. This trick rarely fails.Note: I did something like that in Istanbul. I didn’t ask to visit a mother, I asked if I could take them to lunch. Worth it!When visiting a foreign city for the first time, take a street food tour. Depending on the region, the tour will include food carts, food trucks, food courts, or smaller eateries. It will last a few hours, and the cost will include the food. You’ll get some of the best food available, and usually the host will also deliver a great introduction to the culture. Google “street food tour for city X.”Note: Always do that! Go to the places with long lines. Anthony Bourdain said that street vendors rarely stay in business if they’re poisoning their neighbors.Go to a cemetery. Look for sacred places. People live authentically there. Don’t just visit the markets, but also go to small workshops, hardware stores and pharmacies –  places with easy access to local practices. See how it’s different and the same all at once.Agreed. I love visiting a cemetery — maybe for more personal reasons though. As a kid, I believe with reasonable certainty that my parents shielded me from death. Even today, they don’t enjoy talking about the subject. I believe that’s made me insatiably curious about the topic and wanting to understand it more. Paradoxically, meditating on death gives me profound peace and contentment. In 53 years of traveling with all kinds of people, I’ve seen absolutely no correlation between where you eat and whether you have intestinal problems, so to maximize the enjoyment of local foods, my rule of thumb is to eat wherever healthy-looking locals eat.True. In fact, the restaurants that appear as if they should be condemned are the best. I still dream of a bulalo soup I enjoyed while sitting on coke crates chatting with taxi cab drivers in Manila. The rate you go is not determined by how fast you walk, bike or drive, but by how long your breaks are. Slow down. Take lots of breaks. The most memorable moments—conversations with amazing strangers, an invite inside, a hidden artwork—will usually happen when you are not moving.I best learned that lesson while in Ireland and England. In both places, strangers went out of their way to chat, take an interest in me, and force me to slow down and enjoy. I still remember visiting a bar in England (alone). I met this stranger who sat next to me. We talked. He asked me if I wanted to go to another bar, I said why not. We ended up having an awesome night meeting his friends, enjoying awesome ramen, and have super warm beer (I don’t know how the Brits drink cask ale). I’ll add my own tips:Generally speaking, humans are good natured creatures anywhere you go. A smile, rice, cigarettes, and a humble demeanor (all or a combination of) will win you a helpful acquaintance in most places. You’re not in Kansas, so don’t expect Kansas. Surrender yourself to the paradox of other cultures and embrace. Eat the food. Embrace the norms around time, family, and work. Don’t seek out Instagram shots — seek out experiences.Don’t take yourself too seriously. You’re going to screw up — that’s the point and that’s how you’ll learn. Enjoy the process of making mistakes and getting better. The experience will humble you and you’ll come out a stronger person as a result. ]Consume lots of local art and music! See live music, visit art exhibitions, get exposed to architecture. Visit museums. If possible, go with (or better — make!) local friends. That’s how I experienced Bangkok, Dublin, Cork, Manila, St. Petersburg, Bali, Semarang, San Jose (CR), Lima, and other places.

Fascinating. Sharing with you.

I watched the 50 year anniversary of Saturday Night Live yesterday night. Satire has this way of disassociating me from my mind and entering this realm of existence where everything is up for grabs. I love that good satire encourages me to uncontrollably laugh out loud, smile, and remember that it’s absurd to give anything in life more energy than it’s worth.I laughed out loud most listening to Eddie Murphy impersonate Tracy Morgan impersonate Steve Harvey.
Your enjoyment may not rise to my enjoyment. You may not find yourself re-winding Eddie’s bits just to watch him plot his path to breaking his cast mates. That’s okay. That moment is my salve, not yours. And you will have your own ideas of what’s funny and what’s not. We can all afford to spend more time enjoying things we find silly, stupid, absurd, and a total waste of time. Memo to self: nothing is so important than finding an opportunity to laugh

How many “Jurassic Park” off shoot movies are in existence now? You know what, don’t answer. I’ll make it easy for you: “too many.”How many times have jazz musicians played “Cold Duck Time” or a Byrd tune on a gig? “Too many.”How many times have I repeated the same ideas… probably the same! I am concerned about the stagnation of artists. And I am concerned because good artists typically operate the margin. They’re at the edges of culture pushing it forward. Producing another dinosaur movie does not give us new stories or mediums to tell stories in, it’s giving us the past. In a meta way, perhaps we’re stuck in a form of creative “amber” and our creative DNA needs to be chiseled out, cloned, and let loose in a new, hopefully not lawsuit inducing, way.To help me, I try to collect different inputs. I yearn for different types of music to try, I like to read different kinds of books, I subscribe to blogs and podcasts of thinkers I hope I’ll disagree with, and I’ll entertain odd and contrarian thoughts. I use those inputs to hopefully find new ideas or ways to look at my life. Artists aren’t the only ones that need heterodox inputs. Non-artists too. You need a variety of inputs. You need new music, new books, new movies, new writing, new news… things that will give different perspective to consider… even perspectives vastly different than your own. Travel to new places is a powerful tool to make that happen . When I pass on, I don’t believe I’ll pass on with much in the way of physical things or money. Instead, I believe I’ll likely leave behind my writings (for the AIs), my ideas, and hopefully interesting stories passed down.

I do my best to communicate in a clear and direct fashion. I value active voice. I value tight sentences. I value communicating value. I apply learning from the past — be mindful of making claims without evidence, quantify my ignorance, and lead with the big idea. I am aware that I have still have a ways to go — more to learn, more to mess up, and more to experience.Except bad listeners. They scare me. A bad listener is one that speaks and thinks with confidence. They hear and they respond, but they do not listen. If you ask this person to speak back what they heard you say, they will communicate back the total opposite what you meant — confidently. You will wonder if you were truly clear. And that wonder you have, that will spiral out of control. You will ask yourself over and over again how you might have been clearer. You will examine what you said 100 times over. You will go from a “belief” about your ideas to a “think”. You will lose your confidence in your ideas. People accused me of being a bad listener before. And they were right to do so. I’ve been that person who needed to win at all costs, even if I must make you question yourself to win. And those mistakes cost me, and life is right to have taught me that lesson. And because I never want to be that person again, I am hyper aware of doing all I can to be an effective communicator. You can imagine how much anxiety I unnecessarily create for myself as a result of bad listeners. Listening is sometimes thought of as an art. I disagree. Listening is a basic skill. My kindergarten diploma says I have a masters in the kinder arts which includes listening. Listening is something we humans have done since our inception — we have ears after all. The skill should not be hard… especially if kids can do it.Listening is not only a primal sense that some have, it’s a desire. And when listening is a “desire” then it is no longer a sense but an invitation to connect with other humans or things. The desire to engage in that kind of listening requires energy, time, and capacity. All the resources that are often perceived to be in short supply. Bad listeners do not demonstrate a desire to listen. Good listeners demonstrate a desire to listen, and if they can’t, they say so. You must have a desire to connect with others in order to listen.And you must listen if you desire to speak.

The piano just got a make over. The tuner came in, adjusted the action, and now the piano plays like a brand new instrument. I barely recognize her.The piano tuner showed me that the piano may not have been configured correctly out of the factory. The old set up required more effort and energy to get the sound I wanted from it. I speculate that contributed to my sound — I am an aggressive player. I notice that after the reset, a lot less energy is required to make something beautiful and productive. Interestingly….A good sleep felt similar. 9.5 hours and I didn’t even recognize myself today from the previous day. The sleep help me understand that a contributing factor to my sleeplessness could have been stress from the work day. I put in more effort and energy into a thing that didn’t deserve it. As a result, I experienced inefficient rest. I don’t believe the piano and sleep are one in the same. What connects the two is efficient use of energy. Waste is a natural byproduct of energy transformation. As with most things, it’s better to create waste in a sustainable and beautiful manner.

The body is tired, it wants to sleep.The mind knows it’s time to sleep. Yet there’s some type of invisible hand stopping me.A kind of energy that keeps saying “not yet.” An energy that gives me the ability to stand up and walk around as if it’s time to wake up. But, immediately reminds me it’s time to sleep. And so I go to bed…Only for that energy to come back and say, “not yet.”

The central limit theorem is a fundamental concept in statistics. The theorem explains why many real-world distributions of things often look like a bell curve — the standard normal. And the standard normal, the bell curve, is seen almost everywhere in nature. You see it in physics, information theory, pictures of people, landscapes, medical tests, my school grades, EVERYWHERE! It’s worth pointing out that not everything follows a normal distribution. There are power laws, fractal patterns — snowflakes, or other non-normal distributions. But this isn’t a math blog or a statistics post. This is about how an interesting concept helps me understand some aspects of my own reality…. And that makes me think, well, since most things fall into that pattern, it seems fair to say that most things are within some distribution of “normalcy”. And if that’s fair to say, then I believe it’s also fair to say that some of the most interesting experiences are at the margins or the far end of the distributions… that’s probably where you can find my thoughts most of the time. Most things that happen are within a few standard deviations of some type of expected normal. Outliers and edges are to be feared or advanced towards — your mileage may vary.