There are some that embark on a journey filled with optimism. They share their endeavor with everyone who will listen. These explorers ask for insights and guidance from others who might have made the journey or know something about the destination. Good explorers know that their best advice could come from the pessimists — the people who see the downside. Why? Because the pessimists offer a balance to optimism. I love asking pessimists for their thoughts on my ideas. I learn quickly what might not work, or I get their contrarian perspective on human nature. You and I, the ones who believe there’s got to be something more to this thing called life, need to seek out the pessimists and learn their views while maintaining our realistic spirit.

Do you ever struggle to translate the beautiful ideas in your head into words that others read? Like an out-of-control air traffic controller, you have too much idea traffic and you struggle to bring them into land. I am experiencing that feeling now. I find it helpful to write about it.It clears my head.Less noise.Clarity.

My friend tends to believe that what he learns from his preferred media outlet of choice is real. “I heard on the news that car thefts are up, that must be a terrible area of town. What’s wrong with these youth and their parents?” I ask, How certain are you that these claims are true? He responds, Completely.I ask, So certain that you would put your children on the line? I believe that my friend can and should believe what he wants. I also believe that we, you and I, are not as certain as we think we are. That said, there are 2 things I am certain on. I am 100% certain that the only thing I have right now is the present I am 100% certain that there is nothing I can truly be certain about. I would put my children on the line for those beliefs.… good thing that I don’t have them.

You are your world’s worst boss. You hold yourself to too high a standard — nothing is ever good enough.You expect too much from others — nobody’s good enough.You say things to yourself that you would never let a friend say to you. You are your world’s worst boss, and you get to change if you want to.

If the one thing you and I can bet on as being certain in our life is change, why do we have 5-year plans? Perhaps it’s because having a goal feels good — something to reach for. But if that’s true, then why would we have concrete goals? Think of people who have goals like “I’ll be a CEO after 5 years.” Maybe it’s not the goal as much as it’s a direction — know our “north.” I can get behind that. I then argue that having a 5-year plan is moot. Better to discover your “north” and live each moment moving forward towards it.

Is asking for a commitment fear inducing? Instead of asking can you get this to me, why not ask will you get this to me? “Can” feels better but might not produce action. However, “will” produces an outcome. Creating change doesn’t always feels good. In fact, a friction might be required for the change to take place and take hold. The “will” question invites the person answering if they will embrace that friction and ship their work. I recommend asking yourself plenty of “will” questions today. Will you?

I believe dogs are great animals. I love how they rush to the patio door and let out blood curdling yaps at the bushes — as if the bushes could hear them. I also love how they can go from “get the F!@# off my lawn” to “I love you, pet me, and take me outside” in a split second. They don’t need a “cool down” period or “space.” Dogs just go. In a sense, I wish I could move forward through life just as effectively as a dog.

If I’m sick and need a doctor, am I entitled to a doctor?If I’m a musician and need a gig, am I entitled to work?If I’m upset at my station in life, am I entitled to a better?How much does the intensity of our need influence our perception of entitlement? My working idea: higher need intensity » stronger sense of entitlement. If my thought has wings, then my next question is: How might we need our needs by serving those we seek to serve better?

Staying with What is Life Worth?The author, Kenneth Feinberg, writes that memories and faith were a type of “anodyne” that helped people move forward. What role do memory and faith play in helping us transcend awful events?What if, in this context, memory is the act of fondly recalling a past moment, idea, event, or person? And what if faith is a form of hope? For the survivors of 9/11 perhaps recalling their loved one’s memory combined with their faith’s form of hope created a healing “closure” cocktail that allowed them to move forward. What if we could use that formula in our own lives? When you next lose a job, an idea, a project, a loved one, or a thing start by recalling what made that thing so special as if you were remember a loved one from the past. Then, think about what the hopes and dreams you had for that thing. Savor that moment of reflection and then, finally, move on. What makes you special is your ability to combine past and future in the present and do something with it.

When your thinking is cloudy, step back from your thoughts. In fact, step way back. Try to get perspective. What were you trying to accomplish? Who was it for? Why should they care? If that doesn’t help, change your environment. Put yourself somewhere else. Come back to the idea later. Your thoughts aren’t going anywhere.