Steven Sample in The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership writes:The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that they are a good driver, (2) that they have a good sense of humor, and (3) that they are a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening. But contrarian leaders know it is better to listen first and talk later. And when they listen, they do so artfully.What’s artful listening? We go to piano accompanists for the answer.Here’s how I, and other accompanists, listen:Pay attention to how the soloist breathes.Develop a deep understanding of the subject/topic/repertoire.Collaborate with the soloists to understand their vision and offer ideas.Reflect back our understanding of what will be performed and how. Offer thoughts to help the soloist be there best.Receive ideas to help do our job as accompanist better.Listening is so much more than hearing words and interpreting them. Listening is empathy in action.

Too often managers build a perfect job description and hope for the perfect fit candidate. Like the candidate was pressed in a factory. Not often enough does a leader hire the person with the right set of skills and experience. A leader who hires someone like that can customize the job to fit that person’s unique skill set. Team building is about building what you don’t have enough of - complimenting your weaknesses with another’s strength. That’s how great teams thrive.

To live under constraint is a misfortune, but there is no constraint to live under constraint.” Seneca quoting Epicurus, Letters XIICulture creates new culture at the constraints. You know you’re at the constraints when you’re asking questions like:Where do we go from here?How do we handle these types of problems?What do we do now? Has anybody seen this before?When you are in those moments, you get the opportunity to create culture. What if we do…How about we…I recommend we… I’ve seen this work in the past elsewhere, we could that … here…Enjoy the constraints.

J., a musician, once told me that “to play music and get paid for it is a privilege, not a right.” For the longest time, I held that idea close to my heart. 20 years later, I believe now is the time to consider a change.To bring joy to others is service to others. To get paid to bring joy to others is a privilege, not a right. The other night, I lived that creed through music. Today, I live that creed as a leader. How do you live that creed?

“When you get to my day, every day is unday.” — Dad

I think he says it because he doesn’t know what day it is - he’s got Alzheimer’s. As I was thinking of “unday” I was reminded of a quote from “The Alchemist”.

“When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.”

I spent the night sitting and talking with my sister and my friend of 20+ years.

We sat, we talked, we told stories, and we imagined stories we would tell.

A restful sleep, a lazy morning, and a dream about what stories I might hear today.

The “morning after” carries a negative connotation, but it shouldn’t.

The “morning after” a wonderful moment invites possibilities for more.

Thank you to my friend, and my sister for beautiful conversations.

Today, think of the thing you’ve always wanted to do this year and decide to do it.Next, go to the people you most admire and ask them to hold you accountable for doing that thing.Finally, start doing the thing. If you’re like most people, deciding to do things is easy. And if you’re like most people, telling everybody what you decided, why, and that you’ll be sharing your work with them - that’s hard. Hard because now you need to show up. Now you must persist.Courage and Bravery are the virtues you must summon to persist through the unknown, the daunting, and the things that are bigger than you. It takes a braver and courageous person to put themselves on the hook.I see you. I admire you.

And tired is okay.

Lot is going on; perhaps for you too.

Remember to take time to rest, laugh, and move.

Life is short.

From The Alchemist, “The future belongs to God; and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future… Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”The future belongs to fate, and fate will reveal herself to us under extraordinary circumstances. But unless that happens, all you have are the omens of now. How you decide and what you do now will open the door to a better future. Each moment brings with it an eternity. I finished reading The Alchemist and there is no better book to start off a year than that. That quote above, whether you believe in a god or not, can quickly set the tone for your day.

Your parents are the child of someone else.The aggressive driver on the road is someone’s child.Your partner is the child of someone.We are all children of someone else.When you frame people in that way, you start to think differently about them. When I think about my parents. I realize that their parents are gone, and would want me to do my best to look after their child. When I think about myself, I imagine my parents want me to do what I can to take care of their child. We are all someone else’s child.