There are events in life that you likely prefer were the most boring experiences ever. Airplane flights;Train travel;Driving on the Palmetto Expressway (or any highway);Dentist appointments;Doctor visits;Hearing about your bloodwork;Visits with your mother (I love you, mom!);Visits with your mother in-law (just kidding);Law enforcement stopping you on the expressway for speeding;Your performance review (you already know you’re awesome!);An encounter with a human-eating large mammal…I’m sure there’s lots more… Interestingly… I had to get bored to think about this list. Okay, that’s enough, back to work. Enjoy your day.People Managers: encourage your teams to get bored during the day especially if they are doing creative work. In our boredom, our brains start to create connections ad genius is born.

Oversimplified, metabolism does three things (according to Wikipedia):Converts energy in food to energy we can use;Converts food into building blocks we need for repair and growth; andEliminates waste from other metabolic activity.Oversimplified, emotions are three things:A response to a stimulus;A method for communicating to other humans - perhaps an invitation to cooperate? AndA resource-consuming experience - can you recall how you exhausted you feel when you last got mad?How to combine metabolism with emotions?The next time we feel a strong emotion, consider asking yourself three questions.How might the energy this emotion I’m feeling be used for some kind of good? What is this emotion telling me about myself? How has my story changed? How might this emotion help me make positive change in my life? How does it help me remove an obstacle? How does it help me build a better life/work style for myself? I’m going to try it out. This idea was inspired by an enlightening tea I had with my friend, Brianna. Thanks, Brianna!

You can bare almost anything - believe me. I went to the dentist the other day and had my teeth checked. Well… it’s been a while since I’d seen any dentist, and you can imagine that my teeth got their fair share of prodding, drilling, scraping, and the like from the doctor. Here’s the thing, as annoying as that experience is, it ends.Anything that can be bared, can be bared until the end. And everything, in some way, ends. Thank you, Dr. Dave, for teaching me resiliency.

Don’t believe that you will always adopt the safest course. On the contrary, believe that every course invites risk.“Prudence consists in knowing how to recognize qualities in inconveniences and in picking less bad as good.” - Machiavelli, “The Prince”, XXIYour better decision making comes from knowing how to recognize and leverage that which gets in your way - to turn lemons into lemonade.“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, becomes the way.” - Marcus Aurelius, “Meditations”There are no guarantees, only opportunities.

“We have to do the best we know how to do at the moment. If it doesn’t work out, we can modify as we go.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR)Spoken at the start of the Great Depression, much of FDR’s work was trial-and-error. Nobody had ever been through a “Great Depression” and the stake were high. The best they could do was what the situation allowed. How often are you in that situation? How often are you in a moment where the stakes feel high and the situation appears unclear? When you might not feel like the right person for the job - imposter syndrome? When it feels like too much of a gamble? When you’re in that moment, channel your inner FDR and tell yourself, “I have to do the best I know how how to do at this moment. If it doesn’t work, I can modify as I go.”Life doesn’t ask us to be perfect. Life invites us to roll up our sleeves, get dirty, make mistakes, and adapt.

Almost three years ago I wrote about calling on you, the reader, to Stop Saying “Should” to yourself. I took a re-read of it the other day, and I still believe that.Consider taking a trip down memory lane and giving it a read. People Managers: I implore you, please don’t use “should” with your direct reports. Consider offering other paths to help them find their way. Instead of saying, “You should have done _____”, you can ask, “What kept you from exploring _______? How might you incorporate ____ into your thinking next time?”

“How much longer are you going to serve under others’ orders? Assume authority for yourself and utter something that may be handed down to posterity. Produce something…” - Seneca, Letter to Lucilius XXXIIIHow much longer are you going to wait to speak up?How much longer will you allow the uncontrollable to control you and your mindset?How much longer will fear keep you from doing the thing only you can do?If it’s up to me, we won’t wait any longer. We will act now. We will take one small step to make change happen.To step towards what we can become - our most fullest and truest selves.People managers: one of the most powerful questions I asked as. direct report was, “What are you so afraid of?”

“Everything hangs on one’s thinking. A person is as unhappy as they convince themselves they are.” - Seneca, Letter to Lucilius LXXVIIIThere’s a book that Dr. Mike recommended to me, “You Can Be Happy No Matter What.” I showed the book to my sister who read the title out loud as, “You Can’t Be Happy No Matter What.”In the past, my sister has had a negative outlook on life (who hasn’t?!) and in the last year she’s worked hard to turn that around - she likely choose to look at things differently. So can you.You can choose to reframe the things that irritate you and see them for what they are - nothing. You can choose to reframe your successes and wins and see them for what they are - nothing. And,You can choose to reframe the present (what’s here and now) and see it for what it is - something.In the end, all of our wins and losses amount to nothing; it is what happens here and now that matters most. Perhaps the quote is best rewritten as: “The present hangs on my thinking. I am as (un)happy as I convince myself I am.” - You.

“Nothing is burdensome if taken lightly, and nothing need arouse our irritation so long as we don’t make it bigger than it is by getting irritated.” - Seneca, Letter to Lucilius CXXIIIHow often do we let things irritate us so much that the act of getting irritated is making the thing that’s irritating us bigger than it really is? Perhaps more often than we should. And if that’s true, make a list of all the things that truly irritated you in the last week. How many of those things could have been taken lightly? And if it doesn’t kill or harm your person, you likely can take it lightly.

You are a kid. You hear about Santa on the news, you see Santa in the mall, you are told about Santa by your friends and your parents. All of these data points combine in your head and you develop a theory that Santa is real. Assuming you celebrate secular Christmas, you likely woke up on a Christmas morning, ran downstairs, and noticed some type of gift from Santa. For sure Santa is real. So you set out to prove your theory.You set out cookies for the guy (how is he not diabetic?).You set out traps hoping he’ll get caught up in them.You are deceitful and trick your parents into thinking you’re asleep so you can bum rush the guy when he makes his entrance. You do everything possible to prove your theory true - Santa is real. What you might not realize is that we humans love to confirm our beliefs. Ever had/heard conversations like these:“See, they didn’t give me that raise, it just proves how little they value me…” Does it? . ”Oh my god, we hit traffic again, see, I told you that if you didn’t get ready 30 seconds earlier we would hit traffic.””That’s exactly what they want me to do, give in, but I’m not going to…”And in confirming our beliefs we are reinforcing theories that may or may not be true - Santa is real. So what to do?We must actively prove our theories false. I see Santa, I hear about Santa, I receive gifts from Santa, and therefore Santa is real… I will now set out to prove Santa does not exist before I accept that he does.Think about the three conversations mentioned above, here’s how we might set out to prove those Ideas false:I will set out to prove that my employer does value me before I accept the theory that they don’t.I will prove that leaving 30 seconds earlier doesn’t make any difference at all.I will validate what “they” want me to do before I give in.A genuine way to test if our theories and beliefs are real is to attempt to prove them wrong. If we do that, we work against our natural tendency to say, “see, this is exactly what I told you it was…”People managers: this is a useful tip when managing employees who believe that the company is “out to get them.” Get your team member to disprove their belief before accepting it.