While walking the other day I came across another walker. When they noticed me they began looking in every direction but towards me. Walking towards each other — I looking at them to see what they would do, them looking in any other direction but towards me. We pass each other — no acknowledgement from each other and only me noticing them and them doing what they could to not look at me. Or so it seems.

Perhaps the other walker really enjoyed looking around. Maybe they wanted a solo walk and to feel cut off — I get that, I love that too. Perhaps I am hideous and imposing — I’m big, I have a prize-winning RBF, I’m dark, I’ve got facial hair… I get it… I am the face of Pascquale from Chuck-e-cheese driven childhood nightmares.

An hour later I walked into a coffee shop. I noticed someone walk in — they looked at me standing away from the register, looked at the register, looked back at me, and then looked at the register. I said, “I’m not in line.” They looked away and walked away.

After leaving the coffee shop, in the parking lot, people walked from their car towards the door. I noticed them and smiled, they immediately looked away.

What social contract am I breaking? Is there a norm I wasn’t taught as a child?

I’m trying to think if I actively look away from people when I approach them. I can’t easily recall a time, though I’m sure I do. Generally, I’m more interested in seeing if and how people recognize me.

Maybe I’m a victim of noticing.

Last modified on 2026-02-13