Describing things in their terms

How might band websites show us better ways to communicate with those we seek to serve?I analyzed the copy of 3 wedding band websites this week. I discovered that bands, like many of us, aren't writing for their readers."We play all of your favorite hits" -- all of them?"We work with only the best" -- my nephew is the best, do you work with him?"We love collaborating with brides" -- sure.Job seekers aren't much different."I lead cross-functional teams that drive revenue" -- so you collaborate well?"I employ listening and empathy to drive renewals" -- you're a human?"I hold teams accountable to key KPIs that drive leading results" -- ok.What if we started communicating in terms our readers understand?Some ideas for musicians:"We sound like the love child of a Harley and your Ford F-150,""Our music is for people who romanticize enjoying sunsets in Tuscany with their loved ones and a chianti served in rustic stemware.""We only play music that is guaranteed to piss off your parents and your parent-in-laws... obviously that's jazz."Ideas for the job seeker:"Firms that love me, love me because I make people problems go away.""I ask questions that cause customers to get out of their own way.""I discover where people find value, and I help them get it."This entry is at the unhealthy intersection of contrary, the proverbial rabbit's hole, practicality, and the absurd.