Let Them Be Selfish and Enjoy Your Meal

Suppose you are unable to go about your day because of a serious injury. Now suppose people come to help you -- cook for you, give you money to cover your bills, etc. You might think yourself undeserving of such kindness. Do you accept the gifts? Do you turn them away? Do you ask for help? Are you uncomfortable?

What if this wasn't about you, and entirely about self-interest?

The people who want to give to you want to be helpful to you. Is it possible they could also enjoy the feeling of being supportive to you? That the joy of giving and sharing and helping produces a feeling for them that makes them want to do more of it. That sounds to me like giving and sharing isn't for you, but it's for them. The outcome of this self-interest is an action that benefits you and possibly others -- it's not about you.

And since it's not about you, how do you deal with feeling undeserving? You'll probably express that you don't deserve this kindness, and your friends will tell you that you're wrong and you do. Don't let them gaslight you; you know your reality. Instead, channel this feeling of yours, take the gifts you receive, and pay it forward to those you believe DO deserve it. You leverage your undeservingness to help others; and your friends are never the wiser.

So let your friends be selfish, accept the meal you don't deserve, and have fun paying it forward to someone you believe does.