I heard an idea that the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. And that makes sense to me.

To love is to have an intense feeling of deep affection, and hate is an intense dislike — both love and hate are intense feelings for a thing. They are not opposite, they are like gemini twins.

Both love and hate require something to be significant to me to be felt. For me to have an intense dislike for a person or an idea, that person or idea must be significant enough to me for me to have intense dislike. Love would be no different. In the same way that someone becomes blinded with love, another can become sick with hate.

To be indifferent, or apathetic, towards someone or an idea is to have low-to-zero regard for their existence. For that person or idea to be so disconnected for you that expending any energy towards it would feel like a waste. Where the maount of care for another is so low that cutting the person from your life is as easy as flicking some speck of dirt off your clothes.

Apathy scares me. I don’t believe I’ve personally met anyone or an idea truly apathetic of another. I could say that my mom was quite aggressive towards me, but out of a lack of regard for my humanity? Hardly, it was because she cared for me so much that she showed herself the way she did. Also, I’m not naive enough to know that I might be being naive to claim that I’ve never personally met a human or an idea that I truly believe is apathetic. I hope that I never develop apathy for another or an idea. I hope, even if it’s only nominal, I can always care about what or who I experience.

Love and hate, I wonder if they’re misunderstood in a sense. I wonder if caring enough to have hate is a form of love. For example: I might hate the behavior of the drunk Marquette University kids that showed up to my gig; but I perhaps I deeply care about them so much that I expect more from them — perhaps it’s not hate, it’s disappointment… or because I’m in my mid-40s and have so little tolerance for foolishness, I do hate their behavior… and prefer them get off my lawn, too.

Last modified on 2026-02-22