On difficult conversations.

Do you know what a conversation is for?
It's to move an idea from one person's mind to another.

To move an idea seems simple if you practice the craft of communicating using conversation (see "Being an Artist").  

Then, what makes a conversation difficult?  
I think it's the perceived reaction of the other person.  

The way someone else might receive our idea might not be aligned with the way we think someone "should" hear our thoughts. And there, there is the problem - the wrong expectations.

• We can't expect that others will understand our position. We can only try our best.  

• We can't expect the circumstances of the day will change our listener's mood to negative. It might not.  

• We can't expect the other to hear our words from a posture of possibility and love. They might not want to listen to what you have to say.  

But, we can expect what others allow us to expect of them.  

• We can ask others if "now is the time for us to have a conversation about equity."

• We can ask others, "what's on your mind?"

• We can share with others, "I've got deep thoughts about race relationships, and I'd love to share them with someone who can help me frame up the issues. It's a vulnerable topic for me. I feel safe with you. Could we talk?"

Who knows what the answer might be, but for sure, it will help us navigate what's next.  

You can't help others until you earn permission to speak.
You earn permission to speak when others know you can listen.
You receive the benefits of listening when you invite others to share.

Step into possibility, be a force for change, share your voice - but first, pause, be still, listen, and turn difficult conversations into effective ones.  

P.S. If you hold up the shell close to your ear, suspend belief, and concentrate - you can hear the ocean.