5 micro insights - a flute, a book, a case, a mistake, and body shaming.

These are 5 short-short insights. What do they have in common?

Medieval Europeans did not suffer lousy music, so much so that they forced bad musicians to walk around town wearing and playing the "shame flute."  

In 1872, Charles Darwin penned his third book, "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals." In it, he writes an interesting passage:

"We turn away the whole body, more especially the face, which we endeavor in some manner to hide. An ashamed person can hardly endure to meet the gaze of those present, so that he almost invariably casts down his eyes or looks askant."

Furman v. Georgia, a 1972 United States Supreme Court case, temporarily ceased executions as a form of punishment in the United States. In his opinion, Justice William Brennan offered four traits to determine if a sentence constituted cruel and unusual punishment. Brennan essentially says that a punishment must not by its severity be degrading to human dignity.

A week ago, I made a mistake that caused a debilitating reaction within me. What the error was is inconsequential. But the result was to find a place to lay down, stew, and offer self-doubting thoughts and assertions.  

I have a Facebook friend who repeatedly posts about her body, how she's proud of it, but also how others have shamed her. She's leaving Facebook (for the moment) to avoid the hurtful rhetoric.

Here's what's fascinating to me.

Clearly, for centuries, people have been dancing with shame. Both internally and publicly, shame has been used to shut our voices and keep us from doing things that matter.  

As both a moral and social emotion, shame is the only feeling that has a dysfunctional effect on the human-animal. It is not productive, nor is instructional. At least guilt has a somewhat instructional component. Shame does not.  

Quite honestly

I'm tired of the public humiliation. But, I'm even more tired of how we shame each other. Be it in the silence of our homes, or the seeming stillness of our minds. If only others could see the internal fight within. Right?  

Fight shame with grace.  

Grant yourself some grace today.

Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Remind yourself that you deserve to be here, raise your hand, and pick yourself.

Remind yourself that others have equally complicated and beautiful lives - sonder.

Remind yourself that anything worth believing was worth fighting for - and that includes you.