Thoughts from last night.

I've been having more headaches lately.  

I think that's because my blood sugar has been lower than usual.  
I think that's because I've been cutting sugars and carbs out of my life.  
I do this off and on. It's a way to combat my bipolar disorder - believe it or not.  

This post is not about diets.  
It's about self-awareness.

Some people may or may not understand this about bipolar disorder, but it seemingly robs you of your self-awareness. I suppose that makes sense when your mind is the thing that's running away with you.  

But, despite what the individual may "feel," you can still develop self-awareness.  

For me, that self-awareness comes in the form of high amounts of creativity.  

I am a creative individual by nature, and I don't think that's a curse. I'll never apologize for being that way. But, when I start to feel this surge of creativity, I've found some ways to cope:

• Removing sugar and carbs helps. They help because reducing insulin resistance plays a significant role in improving mood disorders.  

• Write down my ideas. I use a moleskin notebook and an EVO planner to write down my thoughts. Maybe I'll execute them in the future? Perhaps I won't.

• Write down my feelings. I'll share what I wrote down last night at the end of this article.

• Bake. Besides hiking, the best activity for slowing down my mind has been baking sourdough bread - the ultimate form of delayed gratification! (Note: I've cultivated a sourdough starter long before the pandemic; I'm not a bandwagoner.)

I'm writing this today because it's what's on my mind. But also, to let you know that the thing I think we're missing from culture, work, and communication is our humanity.  

Thoughts from last night:

I'm tired now.
Very focused.
Not tolerant of others (read: being disrupted).
My head, temples are sore.
I feel brain drained.
I'm not hungry.
But, 
I'm tired.

(I then enjoyed restful sleep.)
(And before anyone calls my family, I’m fine! But I love you, and thanks for thinking of me.)