We're not asking the right questions.

Ever been asked the “I’m not going to ask you what I’m really asking you with the hopes you can read my mind?” question?

Interviewer: “Tell me how you schedule your day.”
Interviewee: Answers…
Interviewer: That’s not how I think someone like you should schedule your day…

Or been subject to the “verify and strike” approach?

Person A: Hi how are you? What are you doing today?
Person B: Hanging out.
Person A: Oh good, then you can you do this, that, and the other thing with me.

How about the “positive lead with the rug pulled out” method?

Leader: How did your meeting go with ____?
Person: I felt it went well, so happy to do ___ with ___ and I feel like we really made good outcomes.
Leader: Okay, well I heard anonymously that you _____ and that’s not good.

Here are the aforementioned approaches re-imagined.

  • I’m not going to ask you…: If you were in ___ role, how would you approach scheduling your day?

  • Verify then Strike: I want to hang out with you soon, what are you doing on ____?

  • Positive Lead with the Rug Pulled Out: I received feedback that this went down in the meeting ____, I don’t want to respond until we have had a chance to talk first. My guess is that this was a misunderstanding. What’s your take?

A good question sets up the person giving the answer for success.

Isn’t that what we want for ourselves?

#rantover

(also… don’t read into this about something I’ve experienced… I’ve talked to a lot of candidates lately and I’m reflecting out those conversations. Also… who hasn’t experienced this type of thing??)

Do what you can

Time passes.