The Despedida

It is common for crew members on cruise ships to hold a despedida (des - pee - dee - dah).

A despedida is a farewell party. Friends come together, share stories, and say “farewell” to their departing crew mate. Food is eaten, and drinks are imbibed. The atmosphere is fun. Filipino crew, the ones who usually hold these parties, rarely miss their friends despedida. Why?

The despedida symbolizes the end; it’s a memento mori. It is a way for people to happily grieve the metaphorical death of their time together while looking forward to the future. Through this event future relationships are forged. I have such friends, one of them is a subscriber.

You and I need more despedidas in our life.

When we leave jobs ,a project, or a meeting, we need some thing - some event - to happily grieve the loss while forging relationships for the future.

We need a despedida before we end our day. Perhaps we make a tea or a nightcap and chat with a friend. Maybe we write in a journal.

We need our time with our friends is up. A hug, a re-assuring sentiment, or a smile.

I often think that life is more about how we end things than how we begin. Using the despedida as the vehicle to end can certainly help us be happier.

Friends

A year later