It happens around this time every year... the other time is in the fall.
Suddenly a surge of energy, a desire to do so many things, inspiration, productivity, efficacy, all the things!
And then suddenly, a desire to withdraw. To have time to myself. To be alone. To rest.
Sprinkled over the top is an underlying moodiness... an irritation with things that aren't irritable, an anger for things that aren't anger-able, and a distrust for things that aren't dis-trustable.
Hah... I have this image in my head of the Bae Salt video guy sprinkling moodiness. See the video below.
Is this all a problem? Not at all. It's what I live with... like you might live with a cough, or a sore leg, or a migraine, or with glasses, or with braces, or with a CPAP. It's just something I deal with.
If anything, it's a good thing. I've learned so much about myself from this bipolar friend. I have also made the worst mistakes of my life (so far) but I have come out a better human for it. Sure, my productivity might be a bit up and then fall a bit... I guess it all balances out. And sure, I may need some more alone time... but these are things that I know. And that's the point.
The things that we live with that could ruin our days - they are our friends. They are showing us something about ourselves - that we need to slow down, be more mindful, and be still.
Only when you can stop and be still can you effectively know what to do next.
I'm especially thankful to my friend, Mr. Bipolar Disorder (pronouns are he/his/him).
Thanks for showing me how to slow down, be still, and think about what really matters.
